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To see if I draw pity...

Aug. 21st, 2006

09:10 pm

GOD DAMN IT. CANT I BE HAPPY FOR ONE FRICKING WEEK!?

Jul. 26th, 2006

10:41 am - just another stream of lyrics....atreyu this time

Go runaway in distress trying
To hide from what's
Creeping and crawling and stabbing
Within try to deny the turmoil inside
If you find yourself far enough you'll never win
In the ounce of serenity
I will come home be pissed (I will come home be pissed)
Cant leave you weeping on the phone
Gasping for breath (I am gasping for breath)
To be left on the floor gasping for breath!

No he's not the person you are
Or the person your trying trying trying trying to be
Don't let the outside swing to far from where you want to be

We are heading for moments of this
You can roll with the best
Where's your body so brutally pressed
Against the confineds of your dead flesh
And if you close your eyes tight enough
Then none of the bad can get in x2
And if you close your eyes tight enough
Then none of the light can get in
You scream as the light hits you
And radiates upon your whole soul
The pain is burning and cleanes anything
It still fucking hurts and your still fucking down
That you are still alone
That you are still in control
Dont know where to go
The day were all dead
Underground'back took a chance to out live your past
Where you will be free





You took me home
I drank too much
Cause of you my liver turned to dust
Cold rust takes
cold creeping cold pain
Do you understand what I mean?
When you feel your soul drop to the floor
Like a hole, like an open bleeding sore
Then you'll have bled like I bled
Then you'll have wept as I've wept

Suck me down, it's time to rock and roll
Lets hit the bar, lets lose control
One false move, you took me home
One false move, you're all alone

But it looks so good and it feels so nice
I paid the price
I'll cut you out just to hear you scream,
Get away from, get away from me
And I can feel my heartbeat racing
As I realize what I must do
Get away from...
Get away from...
Get away from you

I should have turned and ran like hell
Last time I got the taste of you
I should have turned and ran like hell
And I say we're through
I should have turned and ran like hell
last time I got the taste of you
I should have turned and ran like hell
And I say we're through
And I say we're through


You fell upon me like a plague
Weakness weak-weakness
But I digress
After all this...
You're just like all the rest

Suck me down
It's time to rock and roll
Let's hit the bar, let's lose control
one false move, you took me home
one false move, you're all alone

Jul. 20th, 2006

02:43 pm

So I wrote a pretty detailed review of ozzfest for a music forum I am a part of, and I decided to post it here as well. The following is my thoughts on the bands including setlists provided by ozzfest.com which may or may not mean they are accurate. As far as I remember, they are close enough.

We arrived to a performance from A Life Once Lost.....awesome moshing. I had never heard of the bad, they were okay. Screamer was great, band not so much.
Rehash
Vulture
Needleman
Grotesque
Pain and Panic

Then Walls of Jericho came out, I was looking forward to them, so I was glad we didnt miss. The Frontwoman, Candace has so much energy, at one point she said, "We appreciate you from the bottom of our fucking hearts, so do us a favor, and tear this shit up!" And then she screamed "circle pit" and a humongous circle pit emerged. This was when I was cracked in the jaw and punched in the face. I'm still feeling that. Musically, they did not disappoint. And they played "Trigger Full of Promises," my favorite song.
(setlist not provided)

Strapping Young Lad came on next, I was kind of thrown off by the lead guitarist and frontman's half a head of hair. Though my doubts quickly went away because I thought the band was amazing. I found it funny when the lead singer goes "This Ozzfest fucking sucks......And you all fucking suck.....and you know what? WE FUCKING SUCK!"
All Hail The New Flesh
You Suck
Love?
In The Rainy Season

Then the main bands of Second Stage....first off was Norma Jean. Some nice pits came from this one but overall I was disappointed. Somehow not as great live as recorded. This is when the crown surfing began as well. The band was throwing water into the crowd....like full bottles....and I barely missed a water bottle to the head.
Shotgun Messiah
Memphis Will Be Layed To Waste
Bayonetwork
Murderotica
Liarsenic
Vertebraille

Bleeding Through was next. They are one of my friend's favorites, not so much mine. But the lead singer is effing hot! Thats all I have to say about this band.
For Love & Failing
Tragedy In The Empty Streets
Love Lost In A Hail Of Gunfire
Love In Slow Motion
Revenge I Seek
Kill To Believe
On Wings Of Lead

None of us really like Unearth so we went to get some water. I'd be accurate if I said there was lots of pot smoking, water throwing, moshing and crowd surfing.

Atreyu came on and everyone got excited again because they are pretty damn good live. My friend caught the bassists' pick and we caught the lead singer's water bottle and drank from it. They are so comfortable with eachother on stage, it was pretty good.
Exs & Ohs
Lip Gloss & Black
Right Side Of The Bed
Her Portrait In Black
The Crimson
Creature
You Eclipsed By Me
Someone's Standing On My Chest

The same as Unearth, none of us really cared for Black Label Society so we went to the main venue to get good seats and we did, on the lawn, dead center. At the venue, DTE Energy Music Theater there is a pavillion of about 40 or 50 rows then there is the lawn, I had lawn tickets.

Anyway, Dragonforce was the first main stage band. I was actually disappointed. They are talented, but nobody was really paying attention so there was no energy in the crowd.
Through The Fire & Flames
Valley Of The Damned
Revolution Deathsquad
Cry For Eternity

Second main stage band was Lacuna Coil. It was as I expected. They are not really an ozzfest band type really. They did their best but only got a 30 minute set in which I knew like four songs. Christina was gorgeous as usual.
Heavens A Lie
What I See
Our Truth
Enjoy The Silence
Fragile
Devoted
Closer

I ignored the 45 minute Hatebreed set because I've never really liked Hatebreed. We spent this time throwing grass at eachother and a few in my group spent thier time illegally. lol. I can proudly say I got a few hits at Ozzfest. And this arab guy came up and offered some, but I wouldnt trust it.

So, then one of my favorites came on Avenged Fucking Sevenfold! They tore it up pretty well. Each one of them looking super fuckable. The crowd really got into it. I took a permanent marker and wrote A-7-X on my chest. Their show was really great. Lots of energy, the lights were perfect and they played a few older songs as well as a couple from Bat Country. It was a perfect mix. After their set I said if I died right then I would die happy. Also, their cover of "Walk" was absolutely amazing. The singer from A Life Once Lost came out to help with the screaming and the crowd got more into this song then any song of the night.
Beast and the Harlot
Unholy Confessions
Burn it Down
To End The Rapture
Walk (Pantera cover song)
Bat Country
Eternal Rest

Then a highlight of the night, Disturbed. Between songs David went on about new bands, all beginning with a "the" that suck ass. He even had the crowd shouting "Fuck that Shit" Set-wise they chose to play many of their bigger hits, which were definately a crowd pleaser. During "Down With the Sickness" we even got a mosh pit going on the lawn, which is a pretty steep hill. Not great conditions for moshing, there was lots of falling and rolling, lol. But I NEVER got knocked down once. Overall, they were one of my favorite shows of the night.
The Game
Stupidfy
Liberate
Down With The Sickness
Remember
Deify
Stricken
Just Stop
Prayer
Land Of Confusion
10,000 Fists
Voices
Decadence

System completed the show, with a 90 minute set in which they played songs from Toxicity, Mesmerize and Hypnotize. There were like two older songs. I didnt mind it, I like the newer cds, especially toxicity. A while back when argueing over System, somebody said Daron screws up a bunch live.....I see that now. lol. But the crowd REALLY got into this, screaming all the lyrics they could, bouncing up and down to the pure energy, it was really nice. They did not disappoint at all.
Attack
BYOB
Hypnotize
Kill rock N roll
Lonely Day
Soldier Side
Cigaro
Old School Hollywood
Question
Radio Video
Revenge
Violent Pornography
Suite Pee
War
Aerials
Chop Suey
Needles
Physco
Toxicity
Sugar

The atmosphere was great. I really enjoyed myself this year. Although now I am sunburnt and sore. It was worth it. I cant see why so many people dogged this year's show, it was awesome.

Jul. 18th, 2006

09:08 am

Excuse all the lyrics.....I just need an outlet.

On my heart I'll bear the shame
No prayer can ease the pain
No one will love you
No one will love you the way I do
No one will love you
Love you like I do

And there's no escape
Just countless mistakes
No one will love you
No one will love you the way I do
No one will love you
Love you like I do

It will never be the same
Witness trust fade away
No one will love you
No one will love you the way I do
No one will love you
Love you like I do



I cant STAND him. But seeing him last night killed me. I cant believe I loved him that much and he just broke my heart and remained unapologetic. Everyone says I can do better than Mike and better than Peek. I have yet to find better that show interest in me, so I dont want to wait forever. And I decided immense music appreciation is a must. Both the above mentioned did not appreciate music as much as I did....not even close.

Oh, and I might start up in an all acoustic band playing the cello soon! Somebody actually asked me to be in a band!

I suck at relationships.

~Courtney~

May. 28th, 2006

08:40 pm

So....I stopped and got gas last night but my debit card was only cleared for 1 dollar on my online report....so I dont know for sure, but I think I got away with 27 dollars of gas for one dollar! HAHA bitches!

Everything has been great this weekend except for ONE little problem, but thats all it was, a little problem. And now I'm okay.

Thanks.

May. 21st, 2006

12:30 pm

Ugh, nevermind once again, it's worse than before. If I see Mike ever again, I get kicked out of the house. It lets me know where my parent's love lies. They would kick me out of the house over a boy. Whatever. I gotta stay home. My dad said he'd take his car from me as well. Goddamn, I hate them so much right now.

May. 20th, 2006

10:47 am

Yeah, forget that, all better now.

May. 18th, 2006

06:22 pm - I hate the world

You sink into my clothes
And this invasion
Makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick


I just broke up with Mike via Myspace message because I cannot gather the courage to call him, I know I'd end up sobbing again. Why does it hurt so much? And this was only short term. I'd hate to see me break up a long term relationship, probably go mental. I hate myself and I feel horrible. My mother expressed her intense dislike for him. I could see that coming from my dad, but it was a shock coming from her. She doesnt like the three year age difference. She doesnt like where he lives in pontiac. She doesnt like his appearance. She doesnt like the fact he didnt finish high school. Before I made the decision to break up with him, she even said she didnt want him at my open house because of what their friends and my family would think or say. I dont even care anymore. I'm a confirmed bachlorette. I dont want to deal with everyone's opinions and I dont want to deal with breaking this shit off. I just dont care anymore. I feel empty inside, my heart hurts and I'm physically sick. He was much of what I always wanted. I really hate myself right now. UGH! I just had to let something out...If I call anyone to actually talk about it I'll cry again. I'm so emotional!

Apr. 26th, 2006

04:12 pm - 21, I'm spoiled and I know it!

20 or more, you're spoiled. 30 or more, you should be shot.


Do you have:
(x) your own cell phone
(x) a television in your bedroom
(x) an iPod
(x) a photo printer
( ) your own phone line
( ) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
(x) high-speed internet access (i.e., not dialup)
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
(x) DVD player in bedroom(in the whole house, yeah)
(x) at least a hundred DVDs
(childfree?) a childfree bathroom
( ) your own in-house office
(x) a pool
( ) a guest house
( ) a game room
( ) a queen-size bed
( ) a stocked bar
(x) a working dishwasher
(x) an icemaker
(x) a working washer and dryer
( ) more than 20 pairs of shoes
( ) at least ten things from a designer store
( ) expensive sunglasses
( ) framed original art (not lithographs or prints)
( ) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
(x) a multi-speed bike
( ) a gym membership
( ) large exercise equipment at home
(x) your own set of golf clubs
( ) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
( ) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
( ) your own pair of skis
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
( ) a neighborhood committee membership
( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
(x) wealthy family members
(x) two or more family cars
( ) a walk-in closet or pantry
(x) a yard
( ) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
( ) good credit
( ) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
( ) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
( ) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
( ) a stock portfolio
( ) a passport
( ) a horse
( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
( ) private medical insurance
( ) a college degree, and no outstanding student loans

Do you:
(x) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
( ) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
( ) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning)
( ) go on weekend mini-vacations
( ) send dinners back with every flaw
( ) wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
( ) have a job but don't need the money OR
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner

Are you:
(x) an only child
( ) married/partnered to a wealthy person
( ) baffled/surprised when you don't get your way

Have you:
( ) been on a cruise
(x) traveled out of the country
(x) met a celebrity
( ) been to the Caribbean
( ) been to Europe
( ) been to Hawaii
( ) been to New York
( ) eaten at the space needle in Seattle
( ) been to the Mall of America
( ) been on the Eiffel tower in Paris
( ) been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
( ) moved more than three times because you wanted to (as opposed to losing your house or being evicted)
( ) dined with local political figures
( ) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast (in any country)

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
(x) take riding or swimming lessons as a child
( ) attend private school
( ) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you

Apr. 19th, 2006

10:35 pm

Today was a very nice day.

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